Focus on Feces Part II: Doo-doo Duty with Dignity

April 11, 2001 Maidenhead, Berkshire, UK

Sung to the tune of "Puttin' On The Ritz"...

Come, let's mix where Rockefellers
Walk with sticks or um-ber-ellas
In their mitts,
Pickin' up the—

Ok, that's enough of that.

The Maidenhead Advertiser today announced that Mr. Edward Ferwin has devised the Poo Stick.

The Poo Stick is an intricate and ingenious contraption that combines a walking stick with a mechanically operated receptacle at the base (i.e., a cardboard box on a string).

Regarding the old way of cleanup-duty, Mr. Ferwin states, "I can cope in the garden, but in the open country or an urban park I find the whole experience most unpleasant, especially not knowing how far I will have to carry this package."

So, inspired by his Jack Russell Terrier Holly, the inventor cleverly fashioned a device that would keep the offending materials at an arm's length, thus maintaining a reasonable amount of decorum.

The Maidenhead Advertiser is currently offering complimentary Poo Sticks to whoever can correctly answer: "What is the name of Mr. Ferwin's dog?"

And now the chorus, everybody:

Dressed up like a million dollar trooper,
Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper
with a Pooper-Scooper

etc.

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