Poopcake 

May 5, 2001 Goodyear, Arizona, USA

Two 8th grade girls at Estrella Mountain Elementary School could face misdemeanor charges of conspiracy to commit assault, after baking a dog poop cake and bringing it to the school carnival.

The cake was made from dog feces, pond water and laxatives, delicately decorated with whipped cream and Snickers bars.  But I'm sure it didn't take a bloodhound to recognize "the rankest compound of villanous smell that ever offended nostril."

-The Merry Wives of Windsor, Act III, Sc. 5

Accordingly, nobody ate any of it, and the cake was impounded and sent to a laboratory at the Department of Public Safety for analysis.

Lieutenant Ralph McLaughlin of the Goodyear Police is leading the investigation.

Once the experts have performed their excremental experimentation (and whatever other class-IV biohazard tests they usually run on dog poop in Arizona), they hope to determine what any dog could tell you from 100 feet away:

It's poopcake.

The girls have been questioned by the authorities and released.  Charges have not yet been filed.

UPDATE (May 7, 2001): It has been reported that the Goodyear Police Department has in fact charge the girls with "conspiracy to commit assault"  (or maybe it would be more appropriate to say "assault with a dookie weapon"?).

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