Let There Be Dog (Churchgoing Canine Draws a Crowd)

Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - PORTUGAL

"How could your servant, a mere dog, accomplish such a feat?"

2 Kings 8:13

ERMESINDE — The Bible may have been peppered with a few uncomplimentary dog-metaphors putting so little faith in the postdiluvian pooches of the East, but there's at least one dog who has been showing her faith in the Bible—every Sunday for the last three years.

"Preta" (Portuguese for "black") never misses church, reports the Lisbon-based newspaper Correio da Manhã; she leaves her home at 5:00am, walks 26km (16mi) alone to the neighboring town Ermesinde and then stations herself at the usual spot near the altar in time for the 7:30am mass.

She even knows how to take cues of when to stand and when to sit (although I'm sure the congregation may overlook an occasional slip-up in tempo when the hymns roll around), and once mass is over she finds her way back home.  Occasionally she hops a ride with someone she knows well, reports the Correio.

Preta had been a stray dog for some time before she was taken in by a man living in Sobrado, in northern Portugal.  Although no explanation has been given for her canine calling, the newspaper indicates that congregations have become numerous recently as news reaches the curious and semi-pious residents and visitors to the area.

Editor's note: As no photograph could readily be obtained for publishing, The Scoop will instead endeavor to entertain you with the worst dog/church joke ever conceived in a newsroom over a cup of coffee and dog biscuits:

A man and a dog walk into a church and sit down in the first pew.  The priest, a bit annoyed, hurries over to the man to tell him that dogs are not allowed; the dog will have to wait outside.

"Aha!" the man says. "But this is no ordinary dog!  Behold a creature better versed in scripture than any of your parishioners," he boasts as he turns to address his canine companion.  "Where did the harlot Rahab hide the two spies sent by Joshua?"

The dog sits up and exclaims, "ROOF!"

The priest seems unamused, so the man continues, "Ok, now name one of the Israelites whose descendents returned from exile."

"BARKOS!" comes the response with a wag of the tail.

The priest is still unmoved.  "Allllllright..." says the man rubbing his hands together, "Tell me, what is the eighth book of the Old Testament?"

"RUTH!" yips the dog, doing a little victory dance around the altar.

A moment later, both man and dog find themselves most unceremoniously thrown out into the street, and the church doors slam shut.  The man brushes himself off, straightens his hat and looks down at the dog.

The dog slowly raises its head, looks up and says, "I suppose I should have said Deuteronomy?"