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"His bark is worse than his
bite."
—George Herbert, Jacula
Prudentum (Outlandish Proverbs), 1651
ABERDEEN, SCOTLAND — In this case, a dog's bark was bad enough to warrant the death sentence, courtesy of the Aberdeen
District Court's June 1996 ruling by Justice of the Peace John
Logan. But this week, "Sam", an eight-year-old West
Highland Terrier, got a reprieve pending an appeal in the High
Court in Edinburgh.
Sam a dangerous dog? Only in the
Land of Lilliput.
(Photo: BBC
News)
Sam, the canine ward of 56-year-old
William Shaw, was charged with excessive barking, which on several
occasions prompted a neighbor to complain. In June 1996, in a
ruling Mr. Shaw calls an "absolute disgrace", Sam was
condemned to death by Judge Logan who somehow interpreted the UK's
Dangerous Dogs Act to apply to a 10-lb. fur-ball.
Since then it seems that
the punchy little Westie has found a few friends and followers amongst
other Aberdeen Braeside residents. With mounting public support,
Sam has been granted a hearing before the High Court.
This absurd scenario is not entirely
without precedent. In 1998, the Peterhead Sheriff Court ordered
the destruction of a black collie-boxer mutt named "Woofie"
under the UK's Dangerous
Dogs Act. The case caught the eyes of thousands of people,
making Scottish headlines as well as international coverage.
Three-year-old Woofie had escaped from
her yard and had barked and growled at postman Andrew Ainsley in the town of
Peterhead,  Grampian.
In court, the dog's guardian Terry Swankie, 52, entered a plea of
'guilty' and said he expected to be fined but was shocked when the court
ordered the dog to be put down.
Amid a spate of pro-Woofie supporters
including one of Scotland's leading barristers, Gordon Jackson, QC, and
actress-turned-activist Brigitte Bardot, two judges, Lord Prosser and
Lord Allanbridge granted the appeal in Edinburgh, which ultimately
proved victorious for Woofie. On November 20, 1998, Lord Kirkwood
of the High Court of Edinburgh overturned her death sentence, stating
"We have decided to allow the appeal and quash the order."
The 1998 Woofie Case drew a tremendous
crowd.
(Photo: BBC
News)
Woofie walked, and the public was
delighted. Said film-star Brigitte Bardot, "This is the right
justice. I was here to give support and would come back again if
it was for another Woofie."
Better pack your bags, B.B. Here we go
again.
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Certainly many dog-lovers may find
themselves in this same unfortunate quandary as long as parliamentary
and legislative actions permit such painful misinterpretations of the law.
That is why we at The Scoop have compiled a handy Top 8 List of
how best to react in such situations. (For those of you just
joining us, we do top "8" lists for the benefit of dogs who have no dewclaws and can only count to eight.) We now present...
The
Top 8 Things to Do When Your Neighbor Wants to Have Your Dog
Killed for Barking
- Your
dog is probably just bored. Keep your dog occupied
with something to chew on, like say...
your neighbor's
underwear.
With your neighbor still in it.
- Perhaps
all that is needed is some simple training. Begin with
"sit", "stay" and "shut
up". The whole neighborhood will be grateful to
you once you teach your neighbor these three basic commands.
- File a legal motion
to have your neighbor executed for smelling bad. (It upsets
your dog terribly.)
- Inform
the court that it wasn't your dog barking. You were
just listening to James Brown records.
- Barking?
That's nothing. Give your neighbor something to really be irritated about! Ride your bike back and forth in
front of his/her house with a Mr. Microphone® shouting, "Hey, good-lookin', pick you up at
8:00!" Continue doing this well after 8:00.
- Run
your lawnmower constantly; no one will ever hear your dog
barking over that. Especially not at 4:30am on a
Wednesday.
- Keep
insisting that it's not a dog, it's a whale.
(You see, whales are on the endangered species list.)
and the #1 Thing
to Do When
Your Neighbor Wants to Have
Your Dog Killed for Barking
is...
- Teach
your dog how to bark in Japanese. I don't know how
that'll help, but it's a really cool trick!
(That
is, unless your dog is Japanese.)
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For
free help and advice concerning the Dangerous Dogs Act 1991 and other
canine legislation, contact the National UK Helpline at www.endangereddogs.com
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