|
Don't blame us. We had nothing to do with this picture.
GREENLOCK (UK) — According to today's Daily
Record, a very inhospitable man greeted investigating police
officers by throwing his pet Labrador Retriever at them. The man
then "started snapping his own teeth at the police and threatened
to eat them." Yesterday he was sent to jail for three months.
Police had arrived at the home of
Archibald McClure on Lyle Street to
investigate a complaint of loud music. Officers reported that
McClure picked up and hurled the unsuspecting 40-60lb. dog at them and then became
extremely belligerent.
In Greenock Sheriff Court, McClure
denied the accusation, stating that the dog would have been too heavy for him to
pick up.
Archibald McClure
apparently showed no remorse as his sentence was pronounced
yesterday. However, the dog promised that from now on he would
straighten up and fly right.
§§§
Headlines
Prev  Next |
Scoop Senior Editor
"Wags"—also legal counsel for Dogs In The News—feels
it appropriate to address this situation by giving our readers some free
legal advice. Below, he has compiled another Top 8 List, as
always, for the benefit of dogs who have no dewclaws and
can only count to 8. We
now present...
The
Top 8 Excuses for
Tossing Your Dog at Police
- "Oh,
you said, 'Turn down the loud receiver.' I
thought you said, 'Throw Don the Labrador Retriever.'
Honest mistake."
- "I
guess he thought your hat was a frisbee, and well... you
know the rest."
- "I'm
so sorry, officer—I thought you were the postman."
- "Noisy
music? I was just showing you that there's absolutely
nothing wrong with my woofer."
- "Yes,
we're training for the parallel bars in the 2004 Summer
Olympics. Funny, he always seems to have trouble with
the dismount."
- "I'm
so embarrassed—In all the confusion, I threw my dog in the air and called off my hands."
- "I
am the Great Levitron, and this is my dog Floatie. You
have just interrupted rehearsal for the greatest magic act
on Earth."
and
the #1 Excuse for
Tossing Your Dog at Police
is...
- "Can't
a guy play an honest game of catch with his dog around
here? Sheesh!"
|
|
