"Dachshunds
are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and
pulled to such a length that a child cannot do much harm one way or
another."
—
Robert Charles Benchley,
Editor for Life, Vanity Fair & The New Yorker
(1889-1945)
LUBBOCK, TX (USA) — "This is going to be fun," said basketball Hall of Famer Bob
Knight fifteen minutes before midnight.
According to an AP news report, Texas
Tech's annual "Midnight Madness" last week brought an
estimated crowd of almost 10,000 exuberant fans who rallied to usher in
a new season for the Red Raiders and the Lady Raiders. The
Scoop is not quite sure of the respective relevance, but there were
two highly notable events showcased at the festivities: (1) the
long-awaited return of Coach Bob Knight; and (2) a Wiener Dog Race.
(Oh, I get it. Wiener dogs.
There must've been something about a "seventh inning stretch"
—wait, that's baseball).
In a stirring show of patriotism, both
men's and women's teams lined up to spell "U.S.A." on the
court before a rendition of "God Bless America". Then
the Dachsunds took the court, and it is the opinion of at least one Scoop reporter that they were spelling out the Declaration of Independence.
You had to be really quick to see it.
"Which way to the dog
biscuits?"
(Who's thinking it, the dog or the kid—?)
(Photo: Oct 12, 2001, AP / LM
Otero)
Pictured above is Coach Knight and his
grandson 3-year-old Brandon Knight enjoying the melée last Friday as,
all in good fun, the Regional Wienerschnitzel Wiener Nationals (wienerschnitzel.com)
got underway, propelling one of the prodigious, pipe-like pooches a step
closer to the title "Fastest Wiener Dog in the Nation", an
honor to be awarded at the Holiday Bowl in San Diego, Dec. 28, along
with the grand prize of $1,000 cash and a year’s supply of dog food
plus a VIP spot on a special float in the Port of San Diego Holiday Bowl
Parade.
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In the spirit of fun, of course, it
must be realized that there are not quite the stringent rules of
competition as
in commercial animal racing. For example, in this
race, it probably doesn't matter which end of the dog crosses the finish line
first. The organizers call it "a hilarious Dachshund race to
see who is the fastest wiener dog in the nation."
Proceeds from the race benefit the
A.L.I.E. (Abducted, Lost, Innocent, Enough) Foundation, a non-profit
organization that provides trained bloodhounds to law enforcement
agencies throughout the U.S. to help track and locate criminals and
missing persons. (For more information on A.L.I.E. visit www.alie.com.)
Oh, by the way, if you think you've got
a fast little sausage, it may not be too late to get in on the
competition; regionals continue through November. In addition,
your dog doesn't even have to be a "real" wiener dog, either.
The Lubbock-Avalanche Journal writes
"Though [pedigree] papers are not necessary for Dachshunds to enter
the dashes, the dogs must at least look like wiener dogs."
Ok, Wags. Put down that tube
top. It won't help you any.
Tube top is available from Ontone®.
Wags is not (yet).
(Photo: DogsInTheNews.com)
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