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LONDON (UK) — Researchers are working hard to
answer the question once and for all:
who smells better, dogs or wasps?
(Personally, I can't speak for the
wasps, but I know of at least one dog who's been "perfuming"
himself in some unidentifiable, malodorous goo he found on the lawn this
morning.)
The
Advertiser reported yesterday that Dutch scientists have found a
way of using wasps to detect drugs and bombs more cheaply and more
effectively than by using sniffer dogs.
At the Netherlands Institute of
Ecology, biologist Felix Waeckers stated that wasps have been
conditioned to respond to specific smells ranging from marijuana to
explosives. The insect test subjects have learned to associate a
particular scent with food, and when exposed to the odor, they can be
observed moving their heads in a distinct feeding motion.
Researchers have been able to monitor
the wasps' response with electronic sensors which convey whether or not
a "hit" has been indicated.
Despite the magnitude of this
revolutionary scientific breakthrough, law enforcement authorities have
not yet indicated any immediate plans to employ sniffer wasps. We
at The Scoop have speculated on the reasons for the hesitation,
and after consulting our panel of experts we have compiled another
informative list... |
Once again, we compiled another Top 8 List for the benefit of dogs without dewclaws who can only count to 8. However, in our efforts to accommodate the entire animal kingdom, we also realize that most wasps can only count to 6 (excepting those few precocious ones who have learned to count on their antennae as well as their feet).
We now present...
The
Top 6 Reasons
Why Sniffer Dogs Are Better Than Sniffer Wasps
- Sure, wasps may be
cheaper than dogs, but did anyone think of how expensive it'll
be to make all those tiny leashes?
- Generally,
dogs enjoy being praised for a job well done, such as a
hearty "good dog!" and a stout swat on the
back. This doesn't work so well with wasps.
- Similarly,
during training, a light smack with a rolled up newspaper
tends to yield tragic results with most bugs.
- Law enforcement
officers complain that it's nearly impossible to say "Sniffer
wasps, whiff suspect's socks" 10 times fast.
- In airports, cute sniffer dogs
tend to instill a cozy sense of security
among travelers, whereas swarms of venomous, electrode-wearing
insects rarely produce the same effect.
and
the #1 Reason Why Sniffer Dogs Are Better Than Sniffer Wasps...
- Sniffer dogs:
They aptly
bring you to the stash...
Sniffer wasps:
They brashly sting you in the @$$!
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