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"Cry 'Fetch!' and let slip the dogs of war" Julius
Caesar, Act III, Sc. i
(the way it was originally written.) AGRAM
AIR BASE, (Afghanistan) —
Army regulations generally forbid soldiers from making pets of stray
animals found during deployments. That's why "Tiger" and
"Petey" are not pets. They're... uh... guard
dogs. The two adorable...
uh... guard dogs were found hiding in a bush near a guard post at the
U.S. Agram Air Base about 30mi north of Kabul amid the military strife
and civil discord razing the Afghan countryside. According
to USA
Today, soldiers first noticed the puppies hiding near a guard
post shortly after the Army arrived at Bagram around Thanksgiving.
The puppies appeared to be only a few weeks old, grey with black snouts
and short, vibrating tails, indicates John, a private
first class from Long Island (for reasons of security, the Pentagon asks
that most soldiers not be fully identified). Soldiers coaxed the fuzzy
pups
from their hiding place with some leftover field rations. They
told reporters that Tiger seems to like ''Beef with Mushrooms'' best. Since
then, soldiers have been quick to clarify that Tiger and Petey are strictly
Army regulation. ''Sure, they're guards," says one. "They're
very tactical. They'll growl," adds another. Editor's
note: And they give a whole new meaning to the term "Snoop 'n'
Poop" ("search and destroy").
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Commanding officer Colonel Rob Kissel says that when the
indefatigable... uh... guard dogs are not on duty, they're granted leave
to play with guards, nap in the sun and get fat on rations. "Everybody
knows those dogs," he says. "They practically own this
base." The Colonel also acknowledges that Tiger and Petey are a
unique boost to the company's morale. They have become unofficial
base mascots. But what is to become of these tiny wartime celebrities
after this whole war business is over? Soldiers try not to think
about that, as they know it is forbidden for animals to be brought back
after an assignment. "It'll be really hard," laments Pfc.
John. "I got really attached to them." But the Colonel
makes an aside regarding the spoils of war: "'I imagine that when
it's time to go home, one or two rucksacks will have a little something
extra in them." For the record: they're a couple of... uh...
poncho liners.
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