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"Should I not say,
'Hath a dog money? Is it possible
A cur can lend three thousand ducats?' "
William
Shakespeare (1564–1616)
Merchant of Venice, act 1, sc. 3
I'm not so sure about three thousand
ducats, but dognappers did ask for £3000 ransom for the safe return of
"Rosa" early this month. This and two other tales of
purloined pooches are just bizarre enough to make the list of this month's
strangest dognapping stories:
I. Thou shalt not steal
[dogs].
DUDLEY (UK) — Irreverent
thieves in the Black Country, UK not only stole a car belonging to Father
David Lloyd but also stole his beloved Welsh Terrier "Rosa" who
happened to be occupying the back seat at the time. The robbery occurred outside the priest's home at Saint Peter and the
English Martyrs church near Dudley on Saturday evening, and soon
afterward, Father Lloyd received a phone call (from his own cell phone, also
stolen) demanding a ransom of £3,000 for the dog's safe return. Some
parishioners of the church were also called by the dognappers who
threatened
to kill Rosa unless the ransom money was delivered, reports BBC
News. One member described the well-known pooch: "She's
like a child in the church. She comes to greet us all."
Father Lloyd's car was soon found
abandoned and burnt in Tipton, West Midlands. The priestly pooch-lover made an appeal on television
for the safe return of Rosa on Monday, after which Rosa was brought in to the police by two boys who said
they had found the dog abandoned and wandering on wasteland in Tipton the
day before. 
Lifelong pals are together again
(photo: BBC News)
In the end and even during the ordeal, Father Lloyd
said that he harbors no ill will toward the
thieves. Implying that we are all at times less than perfect (even
Rosa), he told reporters, "...if she can steal a glove, or scarf,
she's very happy with that, but there is no malice in her." He
added, "I can't do anything else but forgive them, can I?"
This statement seems to echo the sentiment of happy Rosa—which
goes to show: to err is human; to forgive, canine.
II. Hail Für!
 NEWCASTLE
(UK) — Derek
Smith from Sunderland recently pleaded guilty to blackmail at Newcastle
Crown Court in response to charges that he had stolen a woman's dog and
was holding it in an attempt to retrieve a silver chalice that once
belonged to World War II Nazi leader Hermann Goering (read The Scoop,
June 22, 2001: "Ok Lady,
Hand Over the Nazi Cup or the Pooch Gets It").
According to BBC
News, 51-year-old Smith told the court that he had given the
foot-high chalice to a woman as payment for a £30,000 debt he owed
her. Only later did he realize that the relic was valued at about £2
million (although many auctioneers noted that they would be reluctant to
handle the sale of the object).
Detective Sergeant Chris Sybenga
described how the Northumbria Police solved the case: "We recovered
the dog safe and well. When he came for the exchange, the police
swooped."
 Derek Smith was granted conditional bail
and will be sentenced tomorrow, Mar. 15, at Newcastle Crown Court. (Photo:
BBC News)
UPDATE Mar. 15, 2002:
"He did a foolish thing and he accepts that," says defense
attorney Osama Daneshyar. Today, Newcastle Crown Court sentenced
Derek Smith to nine months in prison.
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III. A Successful
Dognapping
(but for whom?)
PORTO ALEGRE (Brazil) — While
picking up his beagle from the groomers, a man and his dog were accosted by three armed assailants
intending to steal the
man's car. A scuffle ensued, a shot was fired (fortunately not
hitting anyone), and both man and dog were thrown into the back seat of
the car as the thieves sped off.
The angered gunmen told the man that because
he had caused so much trouble they were going to kill him and dump him
somewhere. Terrified, the man seized his first chance to escape and jumped
out of the speeding car while passing down a busy street. The gang roared on and never
came back, taking the dog with them.
The man was bruised, shaken, but, fortunately, not seriously
hurt. However he was panicked over the loss of his pet.
Several days later, the thieves found a way to contact
the man after reading documents they had found in the car. They told
him they had the dog and demanded R$250,00 (about $100 USD) for her safe
return.
He agreed to their terms, and an agonizing 25 days after the initial incident,
arrangements were made for the swap.
The man would later relate the terrible thoughts that went through his
head on the way to the exchange: Would she be ok? Had she been
starved? Had she been mistreated? Had she been spanked?
He imagined her thin, dirty and hurt.
Finally, he got to the meeting
place. He left the money at a certain spot by
the road and drove on to the place where he was told she would be.
And there she was, tied to a post by the road, sitting.
First thing he noticed was that she was rather fat—fat
as a pig. Second, that she was clean and seemed very calm. Too calm,
in fact, as she didn't wag her tail and looked at him with slight
interest. "It must be the shock", he thought. He put
her in the car and off they went.
When he got home, he and his wife carefully examined her. She was clean,
well fed (too well fed, as it was) and seemed perfectly content.
Maybe it was an inside job...?
(Photo: Jim Sugar / Corbis)
After a more careful examination his wife found out all her nails had been
painted bright red with nail polish.
(No, she wasn't pregnant. And she has steadily refused to eat dog
food since her stint at the shantytown with the robbers. Only human
food will do, the more varied the better. Sometimes she sits by the
entrance door of their apartment and whines, a distant look in her eyes.
Sometimes the man wonders if she wouldn't be better off with the robbers.)
Submitted to The Scoop by
Denize Feijó in São Paulo, Brazil from a firsthand interview with the subject.
Thanks for the exclusive report, Denize!
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