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ST. ALBANS (UK)
— Somewhere out there is a flasher who's probably
looking for a new line of work, following a case of indecent exposure
gone awry.
The St.
Albans Observer reports that a man who had attempted to expose
himself to a woman walking her dog received the bite of his life right
on his livelihood.
On April 13, Ms. Jacqui Jones, 55, was taking her dog
Tara for a walk in Verulamium Park, St Albans when they were
confronted by a man wearing a blue overcoat. According to Ms.
Jones, the man jumped out from behind a tree and opened up, exposing
himself fully. Tara, a German Shepherd mix who—as Ms. Jones
describes—has a "natural distaste for men", leaped into
action and bit the man in the crotch.
"As soon as he opened up his raincoat, Tara just went for him,"
says Ms. Jones. "He must have been in some pain because
although there was no blood he walked away with a very strange limp."
Editor's note: Aha... He must've read our October feature:
"The
Top 8 Ways Not to Draw Attention to the Fact
That You've Just
Been Bitten in the Groin by a Dog." I wonder, was
he doing the "John Wayne Limp #7" or the "Jerry Lewis
Limp #6?"
Ms. Jones told reporters, "I could see the man was in a state
of excitement but Tara wiped the smile off his face. He hobbled
away doubled up in agony."
Neither Ms. Jones nor her dog was injured. The woman said,
"I wasn't frightened by the incident, just shocked. You
don't expect to see that sort of thing."
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He'd better be wearing a jockstrap.
Ms. Jones had adopted Tara from Kimpton Kennels seven months ago.
The dog had been mistreated by her former owner (presumably a man) and has
become very protective of her new guardian.
Says Ms. Jones, "Tara is a very loyal dog and if the man had any
sense he wouldn't have gone for someone who has a dog with them."
Police are currently looking for a white male in his 40's, 5ft 6in,
skinny build with short dark hair and was wearing a blue overcoat.
Anyone with information should call the area crime unit an 01707 638102.
Verulamium park has been the site of several flasher incidents in the
past year. However, it may be a while before this particular flasher
tries to show his face (or any other part) again. My guess is that
he's probably pursuing a new career at the opera.
...Just look for the guy singing falsetto.
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