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"My dog is worried about the economy
because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog
money."
Joe
Weinstein
A good rule of thumb when you have a dog in
the house is: if it's not nailed down, locked up or affixed to the
cat, the dog will eat it.
Secondly, the more expensive, valuable or irreplaceable an item is,
the more likely it is to end up inside your dog. Recovering said
item generally occurs naturally (in about 24 hours, "compounded
daily"), and it is necessary to monitor all of your dog's
transactions, moving your dog's assets regularly.
Then ask yourself: did you really want it that bad?
Mia the Doberman Swallows $200,
Gives it Back in Change
HATFIELD, PA (USA) — According
to a story in the Star
Tribune last month, a Doberman Pinscher rummaged through a woman's coat
pocket ignoring the smaller bills and gobbled up two $100 notes.
"I went to get the money and it wasn't there,'' said Sue Gadaleta
of Hatfield. "The five and a few singles were there, but not the
one-hundreds.
Some time later, her usually well-behaved Dobie "Mia" made a
little deposit in the basement.
Upon cleaning it up, Ms. Gadaleta solved the mystery of the missing
money: "I saw this little piece of paper, with a one-zero-zero on
it."
Many people would have been content to let Ben Franklin rest in pieces
...or rest in feces, as the case may be. But Ms. Gadaleta
decided to collect the remains, assemble them together and do a little
money laundering.
Mia's veterinarian said that everything would be out in 24 hours, so
the woman remained on pooper patrol for the next day. Then she
called the bank.
"We all thought it was hysterical,'' said Helena Baron, branch
manager of the Univest in Line Lexington. "It was the first time
we ever had anything like this happen."
The bank exchanged the soiled money for two fresh bills.
Benjamin Franklin once said: "There are three faithful friends—an
old wife, an old dog and ready money."
Just be sure to keep the dog away from the ready money. Right,
Ben?
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Lulu the Labrador Eats Gucci Watch
TEWKESBURY (UK) — Lulu, I
don't think that's what they meant when they said you were a good
"watchdog". Nice try.
Last week, 38-year-old Eliza Hastings of Pamington told The
Citizen that her eight-month-old Labrador "Lulu" ate a £800 Gucci watch.
The watch had been a Christmas present from the woman's husband
Richard, 42, and was laying on the dresser table upstairs when the
incident occurred.
Ms. Hastings describes: "I had made sure the gate at the bottom of
the stairs was closed because Lulu has a passion for chewing things.
"We had guests staying and the lady had very nice shoes.
 "When
I found out that my watch was missing and the gate had been left open, I
had a feeling, almost a sixth sense, that its disappearance was something
to do with Lulu." (Photo: Citizen)
A trip to the Arvonia Animal Hospital and an X-ray confirmed the
woman's suspicions. The dog was ticking.
"We decided to operate," said Dr. Richard Hillam.
"We pulled out a really big sock, which was quite difficult to
remove, and a Gucci watch, which still showed perfect time.
"The gastric acid in a dog's stomach is something like ph2. This high
acidity had tarnished it and the strap was partly chewed, otherwise it was
still going."
Gucci gucci goo.
Ms. Hastings told reporters that although the watch was still working,
she did not intend to wear it again "knowing where it had been."
(X-ray: Arvonia Animal Hospital)
Ms. Hastings said, "She eats anything and everything. She's a
lovely dog with a lovely temperament, although very naughty.
"She has an unusual appetite and has eaten socks, dice and would have
eaten my mother's engagement ring had I not heard it rattling around in
her mouth."
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