Dog Destiny - A Special Guest Article by "Widget" (translated by Merle Petersen)

t was a miserable day for me to become an orphan. The January sky was gray without a hint of sunshine and, it was foggy. Can’t stand that damp stuff, for as you can see, I don’t have an ounce of fat on my gangly bones.

I’m a fox terrier, not a Rat Terrier. Somebody goofed on that I.D. Can’t they see that I have an adorable foxy face? I’m good at what I do and that’s a fact. I know my long skinny nose and thin body are weird but we can’t all be gorgeous. Who cares about dog shows anyway? That’s not my thing. I’m a good dog and maybe odd, but that’s the way the deck is stacked…take it or leave it!

It’s hard to explain what happened to me last Friday. I was minding my own business as usual, when the car ride invitation took place. I hopped in expecting a fun trip but somewhere in a place called Sugar Land, TX. I got dumped.

About the author: Aside from composing literary masterpieces (telepathically transmitted to her human assistant Merle), Widget loves to show off her latest trick: rolling an empty plastic bucket into the swimming pool and barking at it. (And they say Stephen King is odd.)

Not only was this humiliating but also, not understood. Wasn’t I obedient? Wasn’t I a good dog? I minded my owner, ate very

little, didn’t beg at the table and drank more than 8 glasses of water everyday. Sure, the garden hose was too much of a challenge to leave alone. Yes, I chewed on it and turned it into a soaker hose more than once... but hey, a dog has to have a certain amount of fun. It’s compensation for all the good things I do, so I feel it’s justified!

Did I mention I’ll sit on your lap at the drop of a hat? Yeah, I’m a lap warmer and a lover! Bring on the people, I’m Miss Friendly. Of course that’s not my real name and these nice people that invited me in don’t know what to call me. I’m not telling. No I.D. either, ‘cause my collar was taken off before they booted me out. Know what that means now? Uh huh, more shots! Darn. How can I tell them I’ve had all that stuff? Starting over, I guess that’s what’s going to happen to me. Call me anything, I don’t care. Can I stay here? Please? I like you people but it would be better if you got rid of those two pooches over there. Kind of a pest (if you know what I mean). And change the TV channel; I’ve already seen that program. Got a satellite dish?

Anyway, getting back to last Friday, after I was pushed out of the car and watched it disappear down the street, I meandered along, turned to the right and trotted down a different street. It had a good feel about it, just like a compass in my head saying, “Go this way, turn, look, sniff, don’t be distracted by anything but your destination.” I listened to all that advice noodling around in my brain and noticed a young lady out in her front yard. Nobody else was around so I puffed out my chest, what little there is of it, held my head high, and zoomed right on up to this gal. She was kind’a cute with blond hair, (my favorite color) and had a nurturing look about her. Anyone working with plants in this nasty weather has got to be nice. Give it a “go” my brain instructed. Okay. I greeted her with my wet nose bump on the left leg; scared her for a minute. She noticed I was sort of well… lost. After momentarily trying to ignore me, which didn’t work, she said I could come into the house for a minute, not to stay, mind you, just to have a drink and warm up my bones. It’s not easy running around naked in cold weather all the time. Think about it! Brrrr!

Yes ‘um, I’m ready for a little hospitality here and a warm place to flop. Every inch of me and all 12 pounds are shivering from the cold, maybe also from the shock of being so rudely abandoned! Whoa, who are these guys? Big, white, giant of a dog sniffing me over. They’re calling her Lady. Really now, doesn’t that fry you? What lady would be sniffing your…you know what! And the other barking one, “Buddy,” they yell, “Knock it off”! This one looks like a little bear, all brown and fuzzy and barking. Ignore the two of them; I’m hungry. The tall guy, (boy is he big) is doing the yelling. Save me from all this noise and embarrassment, little lady. Pick me up…. please! Ah thanks. That’s better. Yes, I’ll have a little snort and bowl full of food. I’m not fussy and this dish looks great. This your bowl, Lady? Well, thanks. I’ll just take a taste of these goodies you didn’t bother to finish. I know it’s not my bowl. I’m not stupid! More? Sure, why not! Thanks, blonde lady. Oh, name’s Lorah. That’s nice. And the big guy is Ernie? Good name, good lap. This will work for me!

Show me the back yard, pooch. Oh, doggie door. Got it. I can’t believe what I’m seeing here; a hot tub for later on and a heck of a gorgeous fish pond! Never saw

one like this. There’s an up and a down pond with a waterfall! Oh man, look at the fish in there! Maybe I’ll hop in for a quick swim. Down? Yes ma’am. I’m down. But you really should know, I’m crazy about water. Where’s your garden hose? Could use a drink and a game of ‘tug of war’ with the hose. I’m loads of fun, folks, just give me a chance.

Dinner? Sure. I’ll have some hamburger. Got pickles with that? Yeh, I know, most dogs don’t eat pickles. Told you I was different.

Well, I’m ready for a nap. Dinner was great…thanks. Where’s Ernie’s lap? Ah, good. I like big people. Tickle under the chin big boy, yeh…right there! Keep it up.

Bedtime already? Alrighty! I’m going to sleep with you? Wow! Check this out: king size bed with pillow top mattress, a lace canopy and satin comforter. Snazzy set up folks. Yes! I’ll just scoot down under the quilts and…oh, not under the quilts? Okay, the blanket around me on topside will have to do. I’ll cope. See you in the morning. Zzzzzz.

"Morning", folks, I said with a long, slow stretch. That was a lovely bed and I feel great. Slept good and ready for chow. What’s for breakfast? You’re having cinnamon buns? Never tried one but what the heck, I’ll go for it. Tummy is a little off after that hamburger last night but maybe this bun will fix me up. Oh, wow! This is yummy! Thanks.

Hold on, I think they are talking about me on that telephone. I’ll sneak a listen.

“Mom, this dog is for you. She doesn’t bark at all and she’s real friendly. I can’t take her to the pound and have her put down, but keeping three dogs is too much. We’ll keep her when you and dad go on trips. How about coming out for a look? I know you aren’t looking for a pet and you are really a ‘cat’ person, but you will just love her. Can you come Sunday? We’ll fix Bar-B-Q. Great! We’ll see you about 3:00 o’clock. I’ll give you dog food, vitamins and chew sticks to take home with you. Bye!”

Aw, sounds like the jig is up. Doggone, I thought they liked me. We’ll, maybe the old people will like me. Wonder if it’s one of those retirement places? I’ve heard they have some nice old people there that like pets. Anything is better than wandering around lost, naked and hungry.

Guess this is 3:00 o’clock Sunday. The mom and dad are at the front door here to look me over. I’m spruced up and lookin’ good. Her name must be mom. Hey, aren’t I cute? Check out these nice ears, my nicest body part. I’m friendly and really quiet; you’ll love me. Take me home, okay? Hoo-boy, looks like they like me, but they’re calling me WIDGET! What’s that all about? What’s a Widget? I already had a name but it’s lost too, Oh well, whatever. I’ll answer to anything if you treat me nice. Okay…ready for the car ride but promise you won’t dump me. Here we go! Love car rides. Yike! Put down the windows please. Someone around here has bad indigestion! Whoops, I guess that’s me. Sorry, folks. Not used to hamburger and cinnamon buns.

So this is your place. All right! Not bad. Check out the big water bowl out here in the yard. Oh, it’s the kind the people flop around in hot weather. I could go for that too but not now…too cold.

I see you have a bird feeder. As an added bonus and an extra biscuit, I’ll keep those pesky squirrels off your feeder. They’re fun to chase.

Let’s see the house. Great, no other dogs here. Where’s my bed? Show me the food. Yeah, I like the whole set-up. It’ll work for me! Looks pretty comfy, so am I in, or what? Trial period for a week? Okay, I’ll be good. You’ll love me!

Supporting cast: "Lady" and "Buddy"
LADY "They’re calling her Lady. Really now, doesn’t that fry you? What lady would be sniffing your…you know what!"	BUDDY "This one looks like a little bear, all brown and fuzzy and barking. Ignore the two of them; I’m hungry."