President Bush: Scottish Terriers Make the Best Bowling Balls (an article about absolutely nothing)

WASHINGTON, D.C. (USA) — It is a little-known fact that the White House has a bowling alley in the basement.

It is also a little-known fact that "Barney", the White House's 2-year-old Scottish Terrier, weighs 16 pounds.

And the last fact we submit for your review is that a professional bowling ball weighs 16 pounds.

These are the facts. Now here are the pictures. Put it all together, and maybe you'll arrive at the same conclusion: Scottish Terriers make the best bowling balls.

Now, for all you Scotties who aren't too familiar with the rules of play and bowling jargon, here's a quick summary of a few important terms (yes... another DogsInTheNews.com Top 8 List):

The Top 8 Bowling Terms and What They Mean to a Dog

8. GARBAGE HIT

To a bowler: Any hit that produces a strike when it shouldn't, as when it misses the pocket.

To a dog: What you do to the kitchen as soon as your human leaves for work.

7. ADDRESS

To a bowler: The bowler's stance before beginning the approach.

To a dog: Something your human wears which requires lots of dog fur in order to look (and smell) just right.

6. FIVE-BAGGER

To a bowler: Five straight strikes.

To a dog: What you leave for your human to pick up at a public park, usually occurring 12-16 hours after you've eaten a peanut butter burrito with sauerkraut.

5. AUTOMATIC FOUL DETECTOR

To a bowler: An electric eye device that sets off an alarm if the bowler's foot crosses the foul line.

To a dog: The sole of a shoe that sets off a stinky alarm if your human's foot crosses onto a "five-bagger."

4. NOTHING BALL

To a bowler: A ball that accomplishes little because of a poor hit, no action, or both.

To a dog: A juvenile trick that humans play on dogs by throwing an "invisible tennis ball" for you to fetch. OK, go ahead and humor them. Run 20 feet straight ahead, stop and spin around 5 or 10 times in apparent confusion (as if any dog is really dumb enough to fall for that one!).

3. RUNWAY

To a bowler: The approach area behind the foul line.

To a dog: What you're supposed to do when your human says it's time to come inside (as in: "RUN WAY over to the neighbor's yard and wag your tail").

2. NO DRIVE NO FIVE

To a bowler: An expression meaning that in order to take out the five pin on a pocket hit, the ball must drive through the deflection from the headpin to hit the five pin.

To a dog: An expression meaning that unless you get to ride along in the car, you won't give your human her glove back.

and the #1 Bowling Term
and What It Means to a Dog is...

1. BACK END

To a bowler: The angle or degree of hook at the breakpoint of a ball.

To a dog: The part of another dog, human or even yourself, to be sniffed as a customary and polite gesture of acquaintance. Humans just don't get it. But then again, since when have humans been polite?!